EVERYONE, SHUT UP FOR A SECOND! There’s an all-meowing version of Guster’s “Keep it Together.” Why does this exist? I feel like this is proof of the inifinite universe theory. In some other universe there’s a stoner who’s like “I bet in another universe there’s an all-meowing version of Guster albums” and, guys, that universe is our universe!
Remember back in the Kazaa/Limewire era where you’d occasionally get a glitched out version of a track that was planted by the record company?
These songs were leaked a few weeks before the album came out and flooded P2P services so when you searched for Guster’s new single, you’d get a cat meowing instead of the gentle suburbanite crooning you were expecting.
Not that this happened to me or anything.
Come… come closer, children. There isn’t much time — I can feel pieces of my own life chipping away with every breath. But before I abandon this withered husk of a body, there’s one last thing I must do.
There are several pictures of Vladimir Putin. They are [cough] they are quite wacky. Please, I must see them. The identity of your grandfather can wait a little while I think.
Yes. Very amusing. You know, this picture here reminds me of the look your grandfather gave me when he found out that I had children I had been keeping secret from him. But it was all for a very good reason. I know I’ve seemed cruel, but you will understand when I tell you. With luck you will forgive me. When I’m gone (probably seconds from now) I will live only in your memories, and soon I will fade from there too. I hope you will forgive me. But first, I must eat a squirrel. Please. There’s not much time. It’s very cute. And probably…[hrrrurrk]… delicious.
I know I haven’t been the best father. I have a lot of regrets. Melissa, I didn’t come to your wedding. And, Kyle, I never had a chance to earn your forgiveness after throwing you out of the house. And I’m deeply ashamed that I never, NEVER made it to a cat show. I should have gone! I can give you 42 reasons right now I should have gone. But I never did. And I’m sorry.
Or the International Pizza expo. I never made it there either. And I never pooped in a weird public glass box. Oh, and I guess I owe you both thousands of dollars. But you will be paid back one million times once you learn the secret of your grandfather. He is — OOOOoooooh ANIMAL GIFs!
Great NYT Mag piece on all of the bacteria living inside of you. More non-human genetic info in your body than human
It was impossible to determine what had gotten Starivoitova killed, precisely because her standing as an enemy of the system had made her a marked woman, a doomed one. I had been to many war zones, I had worked under shrapnel fire, but this was the most frightening story I ever had to write: never before had I been forced to describe a reality so emotionless and cruel, so clear and so merciless, so corrupt and so utterly void of remorse.
Within a few years, all of Russia would be living inside this reality. How that came to be is the story I will tell in this book.
Not Iambic….Do Not Accept…
These tags I’ll pop, and boast in rhyming verse
that what I wear puts swagger in my gait;
though twenty shillings have I in my purse,
my self-esteem and manhood both inflate
when lofty furs I purchase for a cent.
Thy grandpa’s clothes are worthy salvage, though
they smell a trifle musty. Still, I spent
much less to dress myself from head to toe.
To save or not to save? The question’s moot.
I’ll never give my coin to high-street crooks.
These dusty shelves will yield their hidden loot
to those, like me, more frugal in their looks.
Like ancient coins washed up on distant shores,
I’ll find my treasures in these thrifty stores.
- Macklemore, “Thrift Shoppe”
And in iambic pentameter. Impressive.
The NYT’s front-page photo of Alex Rodriguez was shot on an iPhone in the Yankee’s locker room bathroom.
Professional photographer Nick Laham, seen above, said he hadn’t planned on shooting w/ his iPhone, but now Getty Images is licensing his entire Instagram series — of A-Rod, Jeter, Teixeira, Sabathia, et al — on its website.
Image of photographer and A-Rod from FStoppers.
A supercut of all of Woody Allen’s stammers, clocking in at a whopping 45 minutes. I sent this to a friend and got this in response:
I just realized that I have been mistaking telling people that I love “Woody Allen” movies for years, when what I really have been meaning to say is that I love “Mel Brooks” movies.
I’ve never seen a Woody Allen movie, and after that I don’t feel like seeing one either
Probably not Orwell, but an interesting debate on where that quote came from: http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/01/20/news-suppress/
Also it’s distractingly idealistic to think that all journalism is something someone doesn’t want printed. Good journalism is more important than that - it’s what someone didn’t even know they didn’t want printed.